Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You were trust falling into bushes
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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