please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
