And the cops told us we were all naked.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
