Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
