I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
