how can u be prego again
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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