I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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