So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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