she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
