Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
