she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
