i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
50% drunk capacity currently
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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