for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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