people are starting to question the shark bite story
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
