Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
