i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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