I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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