im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
