What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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