I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize