i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
