I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
