***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
