$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
