yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
