I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
