dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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