White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
