well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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