she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
