How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
