Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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