It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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