why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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