Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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