i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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