He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
