He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
