It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
