i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
