i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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