Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
