I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
