Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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