Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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