If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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