Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize