and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
