i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
