his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
