remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize