There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
