it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
