Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
