I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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