dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have fence marks all over my body
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
