They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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