I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
