what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
