remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
