First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
