therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize