Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
