Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
