god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize